W O R D S ___________________

Here you’ll find (in no particular order) ramblings from my over/under-active mind - to be taken with a pinch of salt, or a large glass of wine. - Mark 


for Sue

i keep meaning to call you

when i least expect, you appear in my subconscious with a tsunami of sorrow

when listening to songs from 40 years ago

crystallised in time with the smell of your car and sweet rolling tobacco

where are you now and who are you with?
in the eternal void of space -
or have you gone to earth with the rabbits?

i keep meaning to call you, Sue x


The disposing of an alias

It was 3 a.m. when I noticed I'd left the front door open.
The fucking cats going crazy.
Rain was lashing down and had soaked the hallway floor.
Rudely awoken with a need to piss, semi-hard I wandered outside and relieved myself, my bare-feet stinging from cold rain on the concrete slabs.
Then it came to me, what if I keep walking, there without a stitch, just walk.

I made it to the river. Feet cut and throbbing but the adrenaline of escape alleviated any discomfort.
On the contrary - I was overwhelmed with clarity -
I must kill him.

Fast forward two weeks. I was sorting the recycling:
Cardboard, glass, paper, plastic...
*Where does it all come from. Why is everything shrouded in endless fucking packaging*. Anyway as I said, I was sorting the recycling, hiding the booze bottles in the bottom of the glass bin - a trick I'd learnt from mother, bless her cottons.
Amongst all the detritus on the ground were fragments of a broken mirror. There, I caught a glimpse of my quarry.

It's all well and good disposing of everyday waste, but where to stash a person? I'd once seen in a movie that a pig could eat a whole human. Not sure the neighbours would like me getting a pig, metaphorical or not.

I have to confess I miss him, the gloom, the angst and the way he made my stomach churn with utter rage, it's an energy.
I especially miss putting on the smiles when inside wanting to scream.
(this is sarcasm).
Things feel a little better, for now at least.
I'm glad I didn't feed him to the pigs though.




Time: precious, a jewel, a bird
Sleep: absorb, a breath, a filter
Death: awaken, a sparkle, a release
Birth: to further, a stone, a weight
Bark: a burnt-ocher skin and dust-white
Root: an anchor
Tree: emerald pines, cherry blossom, oaks and birch

Their song is ancient, their sound inherent,
of which we all know from birth -


the climate we’re in

feeling hollow and sick feels like a regular state
while some seem to feed on this hate
"something must give" they say
but giving for these folk is 'alien' - as alien as those they berate -
while relishing in unease they create

what scares me the most is the loss of human traits-
like love, compassion, camaraderie:
that brotherly and sisterly acts
will soon be things of the past,
punished by death, or worse

if you scratch the surface of leafy-green towns
nestled in valleys, on hillsides alike
towns with quaint churches and chimney stacks
you'll find a sea of black hearts -
swathed in Georges and Jacks

nationalist? patriot? isolator?
is this what my country has come to?




Remembering individual dates and nights is impossible -
Love Doves, White Diamonds, Strawberries, New Yorkers, Mitsubishis to recall just a few… you knew where you were.
There remains an overwhelming glow from those mid nineties nights out
Coupled with the bittersweet doldrums, oh to get to the weekend once again

Ecstasy, Alcohol, Cocaine, Cigarettes, Speed, Acid. Chemical cushions consumed by the masses, or so it seemed
The ice-breakers - To feather the edges is all we desired
with the hope of getting laid

You could smoke in pubs back then - with twenty Marlborough Lights and fifty quid in hand, the night was your oyster
Which dingy New Cross dive was the only dilemma, culminating at the same den of iniquity with the same faces - defining comfort




Looking: into a deep bottomless vessel
Searching: without needing
Discovering: a void
I'm out here, out here
On a limb